If the Timberwolves Played in the WNBA…

A comparison of Timberwolves players to various “Types” of chicks. This is not meant to offend, just to be funny!

Kevin Garnett is the incredibly hot chick with the loser boyfriend. She is all around hot. Nice body, nice personality, but has some ugly, loser boyfriend that keeps holding her back.


Randy Foye is the underaged hot chick. You know she is gonna be a hottie, but she is only 16, so you can’t hit on her. You gotta give her a couple of years until she matures, but until then, no flirting.

Craig Smith
is the okay chick with a really nice personality. What she lacks in looks, she makes up with personality. She’s the girl that has all the little things to make a good friend. Definitely the kind of girl that you enjoy having around.

Marko Jaric is the hot chick that is never around. She sometimes will show up, and whenever she does, people are always hitting on her. The problem is that she doesnt come by the house that often.

Mark Madsen is the ugly chick that everyone makes fun of, but always finds a way to hook-up with one of your friends. Nobody really wants her around, and whoever her victim is, everybody is going to make fun of her.

Mark Blount is the big chick. Nobody really wants to hit on her, but you want her around in case you need to get into a fight.

Mike James is the okay looking chick, but with an incredibly nice (body part). She’s nothing really special to look at, but with her incredibly nice (body part) she can always find a way to hook-up when she wants to. It is never guaranteed that she is going to hook-up with a good looking fellow, but you know that when she wants to, she will hook-up.

Trenton Hassell is the girl who was hot but gained 30 lbs after highschool. Every mention of her name seems to garner the same reaction of dissappointment from everyone of your friends.
“What happened to her? What a shame.”
Of course she could lose the weight, but these things don’t usually end well.

Troy Hudson is The Egregious. Ugly, annoying, no-fun, AND she keeps eating all your food and using up your toilet paper so there’s none left when you try to invite someone else over, until finally you just have to tell her to leave and never come back.

Ricky Davis is the hot chick with herpes.

Justin Reed is the chick who is cute and could be smoking hot if she had a bigger, um…assets. (3 or 4 more inches in Justin’s case) and would be a knockout. But in the meantime she uses the rest of her cute self to be good enough to almost get on the floor. 

Eddie G. is your friend’s hot mom. You know she used to be hot one day, but unfortunately, the days are behind her.

Finally, Coach Casey is the c*** blocking sidekick.

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