While I was putting some new music on my iPod today, I started thinking about a possible Timberwolves playlist. What songs could represent the players? Well, here’s what I came up with:
Mark Blount: Tupac/Sleep…seriously, the Wolves could win an NBA Championship, a bomb could explode in the Target Center, Sebastian Telfair could start firing one of his girlfriend’s guns…and Blount would still look half-asleep.
Ryan Gomes: Twisted Sister/We’re Not Gonna Take It…last year, Gomes
spoke out against the obvious tanking by the Celtics,
telling everyone that his team was much more concerned with their draft pick
than winning ballgames. That’s a gutsy move by Gomes, and I appreciate
that the tank job pissed him off so much. If the Wolves resort to tanking this year, I hope he’ll speak out.
Sebastian Telfair: Jet/Last Chance…while Telfair will clearly get a
fair shot in Minnesota, he’s running out of chances to prove that his nickname shouldn’t be "Telfailure." I’m rooting for him to succeed
with the Wolves…we could use the help at point guard.
Ricky Davis: Bone Thugs-N-Harmony/I Tried…Ricky Davis has only made two playoff appearances in his 11-season NBA career. That’s a bummer…keep trying, Ricky!
Greg Buckner: Anything by Cheap Trick…the Wolves, more than anything,
picked this guy up because he’s cheaper than Hassell, and since he
could potentially be bought out for a pretty reasonable sum.
John Edwards: Wyclef Jean/President…I’d make some jokes about this big man sharing a name with the presidential candidate, but Derok already did a stellar job of that in the latest round of Battle of the Bloggers. Guess which one has the $400 dollar haircut, and which one has the $14 dollar Great Clips haircut:
Juwan Howard: Boys Like Girls/The Great Escape…Juwan may be willing
to stay in Minnesota, but he’d definitely prefer to play for a team
that could give him a shot at a title. And I honestly can’t blame him one bit.
Randy Foye: Gwen Stefani/4 In the Morning…I couldn’t think of anything for Foye, so I just found a song with the number four in the title. Me = uncreative.
Marko Jaric: Beck/Loser…no explanation required.
Gerald Green: The Troggs/Wild Thing…while Green makes some insanely athletic plays, he also makes plenty of boneheaded decisions. Wolves fans: Prepare yourself for Green’s incredible dunks, and his incredibly stupid fade-away three pointers.
Corey Brewer: Jackson Five/ABC…these kids may have been half of Brewer’s age in that picture, but they had twice the fro! By the way, like fellow T’Wolves blogger Liston von Culbertson, I admire Brewer’s baby fro.
Theo Ratliff: Kanye West/Good Life…getting paid $11 million per year to be a bench warmer? Sounds like a pretty good life to me!
Al Jefferson: David Bowie/Changes…the future of this team depends
heavily on Al’s ability to develop into a perennial All-Star. Luckily
for us, he’s already well on his way.
Randy Wittman: Sum 41/In Too Deep…can Wittman be a capable head coach in the NBA? I’m skeptical, to say the least.