Happy Holidays!!! (And Fun With Haikus)

I just wanted to say Happy Holidays everyone! (and Merry Christmas if that’s your thing!)

Have a happy time off with your families, and travel SAFE if you have to drive. Those are the most important things. Hopefully the Wolves can get a win soon, somehow (before 2009 at least!)

Over in the TWolvesBlog forums, we’ve been having waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much some fun with Haiku’s. Check them out in this forum thread, or simply click “Read More” to catch them in this article after the break…

UPDATE:  Have since added more awesomely hilarious Haiku’s…

Here are the collective efforts of the TWolvesBlog forum crew. I really think you’ll enjoy. I know I’ve been laughing my a$$ off here at work:

McCants shoots again
Pray it finally goes in
Nope, another brick.

Foye goes for lay-up
Did he try it from left side?
Into stands ball goes.

I really miss The Toine
Can’t believe Memphis cut him
Find him at buffet.

Brian Cardinal
Looks like Sloth from Goonies, ha!
Yes he does thats weird

Taco Bell Drive Thru
Love orders 12 burritos
Thity two more pounds

Marko is a STUD
I’d rather have him than Mike
But he busy pimpin’.

McHale is our coach
Will he develop our guys?
Fifty straight losses.

Attendance is low.
Next game is against Magic
Twelve people attend.

Al Jeffersons Nose
Is as big as a pork chop
no All Star this year

I know what we need
Mad Dog should shoot more threes
Please start tanking now

Maddog waves towels
But would he be worse than Love?
Make Mark the new coach.

Draft Two Thousand Nine
Wolves will trade their pick Harden
For Mullens and cash

Please get draft first pick
No way we can mess this up
Oops we took Blake H.

Two thousand ten looms
Hoffarber our starting two
So much for Free agents

Taylor losing cash?
Can’t be making much this year
Can he fire himself?

What’s a free agent?
Remember signing T-Hud
Never win again.

Bring back Kandi Man
But only for midlevel
Gotta sign someone!

I wish we had Blount
Because he smokes lots of crack

R. Gomes is the man!
He is good at everything
Shhhh I his stalker.

Ollie and the stache
Ron Jeremy taught him well
Porn Staches are sweet

Calvin Booth just wants
Christmas present of court time
Fifty-five more DNP’s.

Taylor sell the team
For good of community
But not to Clay B.

UPDATE:  More Haiku Goodness:

I’m so bored at work
Thinking of more lame Haiku’s
Trade Al for Joe Smith.

Miller hurt again
No more three pointers from him
Never shot anyways.

Clone Kevin Garnett
Five times to make a real team
Then DeRok will smile

Four and twenty three
Wolves Blog seeks haiku comfort
Where else can we go?

McHale almost done
fans happy, Glen Taylor sad
sign for 10 more years

Ricky Rubio
Best Christmas present ever
Trade him for Hansbrough

Can’t wait for the draft
We have lots of picks this year
Sell them all for cash.

Play the Knicks today
Will our boys give some effort
Nope, lose by ninety.

Mike Diantoni
Coaches an uptempo pace
And he’s fat and dumb.

D. Lee snags missed shots
Will out board Love by twenty
Trade whole team for him.

Sledding Beats the Wolves
Nine games out of ten this year
Another Bloodbath

Our team is very white
Would win in 1950
60 years too late

Robinson runs fast
Breaks Foyes ankles on defense
Have one less shoint guard.

Knicks have E. Curry
Hasn’t played this year he’s fat
Can’t type he ate me.

Wolves by 10 in first
Knicks by 13 by the end
Jefferson still rocks

Kevin Love is great
Watch tapes of UCLA
Stuffed by Lopezes

Where’s S. Marbury
Team said can’t play anymore
Outside smoking Dro.

Quentin Richardson
Humped Brandy and got paid
Thinks Starbury sucks

Watch Love on TV
Camera pans but where is he?
Runs down court so slow

Will I watch this game
I guess cuz I like the Wolves
Stick knife in my eye.

Mike Miller is good
Unless you watch him play
you know it is false

Marko and T-Hud
Ricky Buckets, Toine, and Blount
would beat the wolves team

Sign me to contract
I would try harder than Booth
Plus I outrun Love.

Check out the boxscores
Miller’s shots and Love’s rebounds
look good but not real

Randy Foye last game
Boxscore said had sixteen boards
Was nice dream I had.

Gophs beat Louisville
The wolves beater not draft guys
like Williams or Clarke

Mike Miller from SD
And then he played for Gators
Now Wolves stuck with him.

Ndudi Ebi
OJ Mayo Brandon Roy
Ndudi Ebi

Tubby is the man
Coaches gophers to win games
Would beat Wolves any time.

McHale makes a trade
in Boston, Portland, Memphis…
he is beloved

When is the next lottery
Our draft picks are a crapshoot
Will be a train crash.

It is Christmas time
Tank like Miami Heat last year
No need we’re so bad

If I lived in cave
Could not watch any Wolves games
Still assume Wolves lose.

McHale is the coach
Of the winless timber-pups
Has there been less hope?

Wolves keep losing games
Some fans don’t want us to tank
People think Wolves try.

Twas a night home game
and the crowd was dressed in blue
No wait, its the chairs

Jerome James will start
Timberwolves somehow still lose
Wolves in Vegas soon

Wolves need more practice
That might help us win some games
Thirty more weeks straight.

Play the Knicks tonight
It could be tough to win it
Unless they all die.

Fans still go to games
Who knows what they are thinking?
Duh, to cheer Lebron

K Love went to UCLA
Bet he wishes still in school
Never win again.

Wolves team in trouble
McCain would give Glen tax break
Barack, contract us

Feel free to add your own in the comments, or in the TWolvesBlog Forum thread!

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