Mike Miller isn’t shooting because…

When Mike Miller came over from Memphis in the off-season, he was expected to fill the desperately-empty role of “outside sharpshooter” in the Wolves’ rotations.  Management and fans alike envisioned Miller firing away from downtown, helping to kill triple-teams on Al Jefferson and forcing opposing defenses to stretch.

Instead, Miller seems determined to go against the grain.  Despite playing more minutes per night than almost any other time during his career, his shots have actually gone down; he’s gone from nearly 12 shots a night to under 10, a confusing reversal considering that he was expected to go the other direction this season.  Per 36 minutes, he’s taking over 20% fewer shots, and people are starting to wonder: What gives?

I’ve done a somewhat-scientific study of a random number of completely fictional Wolves fans, and here’s what they think:

  • 32%… think he’s being paid off by Rashad “5-for-17″ McCants.
  • 17%… think that Memphis management promised him an unlimited supply of incredibly girly hair bands, as long as Miller didn’t make them look bad for trading him.
  • 15%… believe that Miller’s mom told him that sharing will help him make friends on his first day at a new school.
  • 10%… are guessing that Miller’s just glad he’s not the only white guy on the team any more, and therefore doesn’t feel the need to play into the “three-point-shootin’-white-guy” stereotype.
  • 8%… think he injured his head in the same golf cart accident that claimed Jason Collins.
  • 7%… think he’s feeling the pressure from the constant scrutiny by the huge and powerful South Dakota media establishment.
  • 5%… are betting that he’s just trying not to hurt Mark Madsen‘s feelings.
  • 4%… think he’s angling for a trade to Boston by doing his best Wally Szczerbiak imitation.
  • 2%… think he’s probably still just embarrassed about being traded for Marko Jaric.
TWolves Blog Staff

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Former writers for TwolvesBlog.com

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