wittman mouth

Randy Wittman: Professional Motivator

Believe it or not, Wittman apparently warned his players about taking Saturday’s opponent lightly. “We reminded that team obviously is struggling, but they have Baron Davis, who has been an All-Star, and Marcus Camby, I believe, has been an All-Star,” Wittman said. “I don’t know if Zach Randolph has, but he has been close. We don’t have an All Star” – From the Star Tribune

Way to bring home the point, Randy.  I’m sure the team was completely fired up and motivated when you gave your pre-game speech.  I can hear it now…

“We can’t take the Clippers lightly, they have TWO All-Stars: Baron Davis and Marcus Camby, and we… Oh wait, was Camby an All-Star? Um, well, they have at least one, and, er… oh yeah, they just got Zach Randolph, didn’t they? Um, well, make that three and, um, wait we’re still not sure about Camby, are we? So, uh, come to think of it…  Well now does anybody know if Randolph was an All-Star? Nobody knows?  Well, anyway, they have at least one and as many as three, so that averages to two, er… two point… no, that’s not right… um, wait… if you carry the six….  um… yeah, yeah two. So, uh, like I said, the Clippers have TWO All-Stars, and um… does anybody know how many of them played in the rookie/sophomore game? Anybody? Ok, well, that’s besides the point. The real fact of the matter is that we don’t have ANY All-Stars, and they…  Um, Mike, you never made an All-Star team, right? No. Ok. So… You sure? I could’ve sworn you were an All-Star.  Really?  What’s that? Oh, you just did the 3-point competition?  Alright, that makes sense.  So, um… yeah, where was I?  Oh, uh, right.  All-Stars.  So, um, like I was saying, we don’t have ANY All-Stars and the Clippers have somewhere between one to three All-Stars and probably at least two, and,  um….   Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure about that Zach Randolph guy. He’s got to be an All-Star, right? I mean, he’s at least close.  So, um, let’s all just agree to say 2.5 to be on the safe side, ok? Sound good?  Alright, so they’ve got 2.5 All-Stars on their team and we have none.   And, uh, the whole point I’m trying to make is that, um, well, we got our work cut out for us fellas.”

Folks, you can try to come up with as many excuses as you want for the Timbewolves getting blown out by 23 points at home by a previously 3-16 team, but Randy Wittman is not one of them.  Clearly this man knows our opponents like the back of his hand and is a master motivator.  I dare any one of you to point to his 38-105 head coaching record with this team and prove otherwise! 
Derek Hanson

About Derek Hanson

Doctor by day, blogger by night, Derek Hanson founded the Bloguin Network and TWolves Blog. He is one of the original Timberwolves fans, hailing back to 1989.

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