Wolves Battle Sloth from Goonies, Raptors tonight at Target Center


When Hidayet “Hedo” Turkoglu signed a 5-year $53 million dollar contract this summer with the Toronto Raptors, Canadians everywhere were stunned to find out that he was actually Sloth from the 1985 Richard Donner epic “The Goonies,” also starring Hollywood Q-lister Sean Astin. While Sloth’s hairstyle has improved with the times, the above photo should indeed put this heated debate aside one and for all.

Battling Sloth and his 2nd in command Chris Bosh tonight is going to be a tough one for Darko Milicic and crew. The Wolves have thrown away an epic-fail level 13-games in a row in the month of March, making a winless final full month an even more likely hilarity to appease the cynics. And the sad thing is, I don’t even think we are tanking. We don’t even have to tank any more to be honest. As we discuss in the forums, here is a draft watch update, understanding that me posting this publicly has all but guaranteed us a shot at the 4th pick and Al-Farouq Aminu.

1st Pick – New Jersey, 2nd pick – Wolves and what now is a 5.5 game differential between: 3rd pick – Golden State. So, things are looking good in guaranteeing a top 5 pick. I must say that sounds tasty and in a twisted way, worth this miserable season.

Back to tonight’s contest. The Raptors have the fortune of coming off a game against New Jersey the other night and have hit a bit of a slump themselves the last 15 games. One would say this one is winnable, but I think Sloth and Bosh will take this one.


PG – Jose Calderon Vs. Jonny Flynn

SG – DeMar “ProActive Anyone?” DeRozan Vs. Corey Brewer

SF – Sloth from Goonies Vs. Ryan Gomes

PF – Chris Bosh Vs. Jack Daniels Jefferson

C – Andrea “I have a woman’s name” Bargnani Vs. Darko Milcic

Might I also get anecdotal here for a moment. When the Raptors came for the pre-season I had the fortune of sitting courtside next to the Raptors’ bench. Aside from it being an extremely awkward, yet interesting experience, I was sitting with a friend of a friend who had a young child around 3 years old. While it was a warm-hearted experience watching the little kid yell at the players, trying feverishly to get attention, one player in particular was not warm to the idea. While many ignored, Reggie Evans actually turned and scoffed at the kid. What did former Wolf Rasho Nesterovic do? Brought out a pair of signed sneakers after the game. Class vs. Ass people.



About wallyworld

Mike has been writing for TWB as a hobby since the Kahn era, and currently resides in a Dallas suburb where he can often be heard loudly arguing with his neighbors about his strong dislike for JJ Barea. When not working, Mike enjoys playing the drums and pretending to like other sports.