The time has come to crown the Official NBA Draft Lottery Mascot for our beloved Minnesota Timberwolves. Kicking off the 64 contestant tournament will be the 16 members of our Celebrity Region. We’ll give a brief description of each matchup followed by a poll where you can vote on who should move on to the second round. Here we go!
Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T
This is a classic battle of two of the baddest mamma jamma’s in history. These two manage to tread the fine line of being incredibly ridiculous and yet incredibly deadly at the same time. I can’t think of a better way to kick off this tournament!
Click “Read More” below, for more of our first-round celebrity match-ups…
How Frodo Baggins qualifies as a “celebrity”, I have no idea. What I can tell you is that we felt the need to throw the rules out the window to bring you the gayest battle ever here in the first-round. You’re welcome.
Ever since the MTV Music Video Awards, America has been waiting for a showdown between Mr. West and Ms. Swift. Forget the P.C./P.R./Apology/Forgiveness nonsense! It’s time for the gloves to come off! Only one can be left standing and move on to the next round!
YEEEEE-AH! This battle pits two great musicians named John (or Jon) against each other. WHAT? While many of us are aware of the more recent hits created by Lil’ Jon, OKAAAAAAAAY! It’s important not to forget the classic tunes that John Stamos rocked out with his Full House band, Jesse and the Rippers. WHAT?
This battle puts two older gentlemen against each other. One has aged rather gracefully, while the other… well…
Some guys just understand the concept that society has certain rules. No, Richard, you can not break into Democrat headquarters and steal files. And, no, James, it is not acceptable to wear blue leather jackets and cowboy hats when you site courtside at an NBA game.
These two, more “mature” females are great candidates for our Lottery Mascot. Betty White, at the ripe old age of 126 wrestles crocodiles. On the other hand, Jane Lynch, a.k.a. Glee’s Sue Sylvester, hasn’t met a minority, child, or handicapped individual that she couldn’t mock.
Wrapping up the first-round of our Celebrity Region are two of Minnesota’s finest females. In one corner is the Wolves’ in-game hostess, Natalie Kane. In the other corner, guard Wayne’s Ellington’s post-game hostess, the un-named woman shown above.
That’s our eight battles for today! Vote, Vote, Vote! And be sure to check in tomorrow for our next region!