mascot bracket 2

TWB NBA Draft Lottery Mascot Challenge: First Round Results


The votes are in and the first-round winners of the TWB NBA Draft Lottery Mascot Challenge are now being revealed.  You can click the images above for a larger version of the updated bracket.  If you click through to “Read More” you can also see a list of all the winners and the percetage of the votes that each nominee received as well as some analysis!

Athlete Region:

Joe Mauer – 83.5%
Robert Swift – 16.5%

Adrian Peterson – 66%
Brett Favre – 34%

Starbury – 39%
The ‘Toine – 61%

Oliver Miller – 54%
Ndudi Ebi – 46%

The Rock – 68%
Bret “The Hitman” Hart – 32%

Malibu – 51%
Marty Jannetty – 49%

Tiger Woods – 46%
Ben Rothlisberger’s Rapist Mullet – 54%

Marko/Adrianna – 84%
Tom/Giselle – 16%

 

Analysis:

Marko and Adrianna narrowly edge Joe Mauer as this region’s most dominant victor.

Look for an epic showdown next round between Mauer and Adrian Peterson.

It will a battle of two portly former Wolves when Oliver Miller and The ‘Toine lock horns.

 

Celebrity Region:

Chuck Norris – 44.3%
Mr. T – 55.7%

Elijah – 19%
Frodo – 81%

Taylor Swift – 56.5%
Kanye – 43.5%

Lil’ John – 50.8%
John Stamos – 49.2%

Sean Connery – 75.8%
Nick Nolte – 24.2%

Richard Nixon – 55.6%
James Goldstein – 44.4%

Betty White – 77.2%
Jane Lynch – 22.8%

Natalie Kane – 63.8%
Wayne Ellington’s Girlfriend – 36.2%

 

Analysis:

Frodo led all vote-getters in the Celebrity region, despite not being mislabeled as a “celebrity” when he’s really a movie character.  What will Mr. T have to say about that next round?

Taylor Swift gets revenge on Kanye, but something tells me that this vote had little to do with justice, and everything to do with the fact that mostly males were voting.

Lil’ John just snuck by John Stamos in the narrowest battle of the entire first-round

 

TV/Movie Character Region:

Macguyver – 88%
Macgruber – 12%

Pinky and The Brain – 58.6%
Stewie Griffin – 41.4%

Borat – 63.3%
Rob Schneider – 46.7%

Don Draper – 22.6%
Channel 4 News Team – 77.4%

The Smoke Monster – 40.6%
Stay Puff’t Marshmallow Man – 59.4%

Mitchell and Cameron – 23.3%
Bert and Ernie – 76.7%

Chunk – 55.6%
Corky – 44.4%

Nadia – 78.1%
Fes – 21.9%

 

Analysis:

Macguyver ended up being the most dominant winner in the entire first-round.  He didn’t even need to use his paper clip to down Macgruber.

Cuteness had it’s way in this region with Chunk, Bert and Ernie, and Stay Puff’t all coming out as winners.

Nadia continues the trend of female nominees dominating any contest in which they face off against a male.

 

Random Region:

Wolverine – 69%
Apache Helicopter – 31%

The Elephant Man – 45%
Freak Piglet – 55%

Japanese Softball Team – 81%
Bottle of Rolling Rock – 19%

Mr. Freeze – 45%
Fat Spiderman – 55%

Joakim Noah’s Dance Moves – 69%
Michael Beasley’s Bag of Weed – 31%

KFC Double Down – 67%
Stop-n-Pop’s Cheese Enchiladas – 33%

Homeless Guy #1 – 30%
Homeless Guy #2 – 70%

Jolly Green Giant – 34%
Baked Man KG Fan – 66%

 

Analysis:

Again, the X chromosomes are proving dominant as the Japanese Softball team absolutely crushed the bottle of Rolling Rock.

The KFC Double Down made a statement and “banned” SnP’s Cheese Enchiladas from the tourney.

And finally, Baked Man KG Fan….

NO!  IT CAN’T BE!  THAT’S THE MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE’S MUSIC!
macho man randy savage

OH YEAH! Did you really think you could hold a mascot tournament without Randy Savage?  The Macho Man has everything the Timberwolves need to land that #1 draft pick!  I’ve got the costume!  I’ve got the catch-phrase! I’ve got loads and loads of unintentional comedy!  I am a tower of power that’s too sweet to be sour, and after a first-round bye I am forcing my way into this tournament to take on both Malibu and the Rock in a triple-threat match! Can you dig it?  I’m gonna snap them like a Slim Jim.  OH YEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!

Derek Hanson

About Derek Hanson

Doctor by day, blogger by night, Derek Hanson founded the Bloguin Network and TWolves Blog. He is one of the original Timberwolves fans, hailing back to 1989.

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