CW Jr.’s First T-Wolves Game


(The closest the score of the game will be all night long.)

Last night was CW Jr.’s first Timberwolves game at Target Center.  He just turned 3 a little over a week ago.  I know, I know… poor kid.  But we live in Minnesota, not somewhere with a good team, like 10-15 or so other cities in the United States.  Anyways, so we were heading into downtown Minneapolis from 35W:

Mrs. CW: Look Graham, that’s Minneapolis. See all those big buildings up there. Whoa, that’s Minneapolis!
CW JR: Yeah, there’s lotsa-apolis.
Mrs. CW: Graham, it’s “Minn-e-apolis.”

Logical.  He’s got a point there.


(CW Jr. is naive to the score of the game, which still makes this fun!)

I don’t know if this was the worst game of the season; probably not since we were facing such a great team, but that didn’t make the loss any more palatable.  We are a bad, and very sad, sad, sad team.  The best part of the game/night was that CW Jr. had fun, and really, that’s all the matters anyway.

 Is there even any point in listing off the ineptitude that occurred last night?  Our starters were sat the entire 4th quarter; maybe it will teach them a lesson, but probably not.

Kevin Love came back and played 27 minutes, but we were blown out again.  Anthony Randolph put up better stats in only 19 minutes.  Side note: Someone please tell me WHY Darrell Rhombus* refuses to play Kevin Love and AR together on the court?!?  Literally the only shred of optimism left for this season is to play Love and AR together huge minutes (at the same time, you dolt) and see how it works out.  We need to find out if it’s A) even possible and B) if we’ve got something with these two guys on the court together. I am so sad.

*If you are new to this blog and/or don’t know who “Darrell Rhombus” is… Kurt Rambis’ real first name is actually “Darrell.”  No lie, look it up.  His middle name is “Kurt.”  As for “Rhombus” rather than “Rambis”, a rhombus is a geometric shape that looks like a normal square, but is quite clearly not.  Much like Kurt Rambis’ bi-angle offense.  Err… I mean triangle offense.

We had 12 assists on 35 makes, compared to 31 assists on 45 field goals for the Bulls. They also shot over 50%, compared to 41% for the Wolves (yay, over 40% this game!)  That’s probably why da Bulls have the best record in the Eastern Conference, and we have the second worst record in the entire league.

I believe we are something like the best rebounding team in the league, (by some metric.)  Too lazy to look it up, and yes its semi-mind blowing, yet we were STILL outrebounded by 16.  The Bulls are also missing their best defender, and one of the top rebounders in the league (Joakim Noah), while the Wolves had the league leading rebounder back in action. Someone please explain this to me!?!  Maybe I need to just move on…

(Look!  Darko almost got a rebound!)

 Please click “Read More” to continue on with the Game Recrap and pictures…

 Before the game, we enjoyed ourselves at “Smalley’s” and their non-buffalo wings and now non-Game Day Happy Hour.  Oh wait, nevermind, those things don’t exist anymore.  /Punches self in face repeatedly.

Carlos Boozer is a stupid BIOTCH (I just needed to add this in somewhere.)

I now, finally, have come to (somewhat) appreciate all the in-arena stupidness that passes as the “Game Entertainment.”  I had previously come to loathe it during my ascent to maturity and adulthood and blah blah blah. I had thought it was stupid, loud, pointless, frivolous nonsense.  HOWEVA, it does a heck of a job distracting and making the little ones happy.  So yes, I will no longer complain about the “entertainment.”  The speakers are still loud as all getup, but oh well, they need to drown out all the people whispering and not cheering at the games.  Zing.

Except Crunch.  I have always loved Crunch.  And I always will.  He rocks.  CW Jr. loved the “giant wolf’ running around as well.  Pure delight was had, and you can’t put a price tag on that.  He even joined in with some Howling of his own.  So unfortunately for him, he’s probably now a TWolves fan for life.  Oh well, I guess it was inevitable.  I guess that’s what I get for watching all their stupid games the past 10 years.


(Howl if you love Crunch.)

Sitting behind us was possible the loudest, most annoying Bulls fan in the entire arena.  I wish I was kidding, but I’m not.  I am sure you could have heard him in the upper deck, because he was THAT GUY.  Still, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as it masked the noise from my almost equally loud (but much funnier and less annoying son.)  Hooray for idiot(s).

The crowd was shockingly very packed.  It was one of the best non-Boston crowds I’ve seen in quite some time.  So that was a pleasent surprise……….. until I realized they were probably at least 50% Bulls fans; and the cheering for the Bulls throughout the course of the game was much louder than any actual cheering for the TWolves.  Egads.  Mike Reynolds would not be happy with this development.  So, that makes two games in a row where the home crowd is dwarfed by fans from the OTHER TEAM!?!  Again, let me just insert a curious “WTF???” here.  We are a sad, sad organization.

Time for another gratuitious picture of a cute little kid.  He would not put down the ticket the entire game, and nearly came to tears when he ripped it in half later.

(My Preciousssssssssssssssssssss)

I’m sorry, but if you are still looking for any further basketball analysis at this point, you have come to the wrong place.  There is simply nothing else more to say about how sorry of a team we have.  I mean, I literally can’t even come up with a single shred of optimism to talk about.  It was that bad of a game.  To think, I was so excited to go see the Bulls and Derrick Rose.  Oh well, at least it was really fun for CW Jr., and being there with him.

Also, based on what he told me below, I think CW Jr. could do a better job running this organization than our current “braintrust”…

(Please please please no more Darrell Rhombus or KAAAAAAHN)

 I almost forgot to mention, another big plus for the night was half-time.  Not the entertainment, mind you, but rather meeting the players in the tunnel, where they walk to and from the court to the locker room (and vice-versa.)  This is something I used to do all the time until like a year ago when I was younger, and it’s still cool.  Anyways, so CW Jr. and I go stand in the tunnel after half-time starts (we missed going down before half-time), and he was kinda wondering what the heck was going on.  But I assured him we would get to see the players, so he was waiting quite patiently (#WINNING.)  The players started coming out of the locker room and you could tell he was in awe.  He recognized guys like K-Love and Darko, among others.  He got some hand pounds or high fives from some such as Tolliver, Darko, Ellington… AND his favorite player “Michael Beeeeeezley.”  That was the highlight of the night right there.  As Beas was walking towards us, he yelled out “Michael Beeeezley you are my favorite player!” and Beas came over and high-fived his little outstretched hand.  I realize this paragraph is incredibly sappy, and probably really stupid to non-parents, but that was really cool.  Mad props to Beasley for that.  So he loved it.  Definitely wouldn’t stop talking about seeing Beasley and getting a high-five.  I’m also proud that Beasley is his favorite player, rather than someone like, say, Jonny Flynn.  (#NotWINNING.)

Also, as some of you may know, not all the players give high-fives.  Well, this caused young CW Jr. much consternation, as he was saying “I got high-fives but not all Timberwolves GIVE ME SOME!”  Imagine a little kid with furrowed brows, and a half mad/confused/puzzled look on his face.  I would almost dare say that it upset him greatly that not all players would give him a high-five.  I’m not the biggest K-Lav fan as most of you know, and I kid you not, but I think he was most mad that Love didn’t high-five him.  The reason probably being that I always tell him how good K-Lav is and point him out on TV every game.  Little kids remember stuff like that.  They have the memory of an elephant (aka a good one), and I’m not kidding. 

Oh, and shoutout to Stephen Litel and Myles Brown.  Long time, no see fellas.  Hope all is well with you both.  (I just had to name-drop there, to feel important and whatnot.)

So yes, a fun time was had by all.  We avoided any epic little kid meltdowns, at least until we got into the parking garage.  So that’s pretty solid all things considered.  And thanks to the person who helped getting me the tickets.  You know who you are. 


(Let’s all go again tomorrow!)

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