Anything-other-than-first-place-is-last-place

Finishing 30th


In my Google Images search to find some sort of humorous “last place” image, I stumbled upon the picture above.  I have no idea why that phrase has anything to do with a snarling wolf, but I figured it was close enough to the topic of this post that we could roll with it.  After all, it makes about as much sense as half the lineups that Rhombus rolled out this season.

So the T-Wolves finished in last place for the second time in franchise history.  The last time they held this distinction, Shaquille O’Neal was ripe for the drafting.  Today, Shaq is 480 lbs. and limping around the court with Minnesota’s only legitimate franchise player, who happens to be playing alongside another perrenial all-star that the Wolves drafted but traded away before he ever played a game for them, and they are all playing for the team that our former Vice President of Basketball operations used to play for.  Confused?  Well, that about sums up the past 19 years of Timberwolves basketball. 

At any rate, the Timberwolves now own a pretigious 75% chance of getting screwed yet again in the NBA lottery, and they will without a doubt keep their streak of 22 years without improving their draft positioning alive.  If by some miracle their ping pong ball combination does come the winner, they will get to select first in one of the weakest drafts ever.  David Kahn will likely draft a power forward, make that a European power forward, with the belief that the Euro and K. Lav will absolutely be able to play together on the court.  Adding insult to injury, Ricky Rubio will finally be able to get out of his contract with FC Barcelona, only to have the owners lock the players out, which makes him decide to stay overseas. 

Are you pumped yet?

Look, I know that this post is just brewing with negativity, but I really mean this all tongue-in-cheek.  The Minnesota Timberwolves are a sad-sack NBA franchise if there ever was one, but I love them all the same.  Everyone just keep hanging in there.  Things will get better.  After all, they can’t get any worse.

And with the first pick in the 2012 NBA Draft, the Los Angeles Clippers, using their pick from the Minnesota Timberwolves, select

Oh, wait.  They can.

Derek Hanson

About Derek Hanson

Doctor by day, blogger by night, Derek Hanson founded the Bloguin Network and TWolves Blog. He is one of the original Timberwolves fans, hailing back to 1989.

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