There are plenty of ways for us to deal with the NBA Lockout.
Sure, we could bemoan the possible loss of next season. We could yearn for Rubio highlights and Kevin Love double doubles.
We could try something different and watch baseball or hockey. (Gross.)
Or… we can embrace the lockout. Seriously. Think of the possibilities!
Here are five unexpected positives from the NBA Lockout if a new collective bargaining agreement isn’t reached and we lose next season:
1. If there are no games, we can’t lose!
Imagine an undefeated Minnesota Timberwolves team. Are you getting chills? I sure am!
2. Ricky Rubio will still be the Messiah of Minneapolis, and there’s nothing Bill Simmons can do about it!
Now that Ricky’s finally here, everyone seems to be trying to create low expectations. We’re supposed to believe that Ricky might struggle during his rookie season.
Really? We’re supposed to believe that?
I don’t buy it. We all know Ricky Rubio is going to be the best point guard of all time. Yes, of ALL TIME, Kanye! And until he steps on the basketball court, nobody can take that away from us. Not even the Sports Guy.
And if we lose next season, Ricky’s reputation will continue to live on untarnished. His trade value will continue to remain high.
HAHA NATIONAL SPORTS MEDIA! Checkmate, haters.
3. No more overly dramatic sports narratives!
The sports media was pretty ridiculous this season. Obviously when writers have a deadline, they try to find some kind of angle to work with. I get that.
But to say this season’s narratives were overly contrived would be an understatement. Seriously… this all happened in less than a year:
Miami will be the greatest team ever! (Summer ’10)
Miami is struggling! Was Chris Bosh a mistake? (November ’10)
Miami is clicking and they’re unstoppable! (December ’10)
Miami is struggling! Was the “super team” a mistake? (January ’11)
Miami is the favorite to win the championship! (April ’11)
LeBron is an incredible closer! (May ’11)
LeBron shrinks in big moments! (June ’11)
Yep, that’s pretty insane. I’m not going to miss the hysterical reactions of sports media to short-term variance.
4. LeBron is a choker, and there is nothing he can do about it!
Speaking of the Heat… if there’s no season, there’s no vindication for LeBron. His name will continue to be synonymous with “shrinkage.” We will continue to obsess over his failures in the 2011 NBA Finals.
Sure, we all still have to wake up to the same life problems every day, but LeBron’s ringless finger will surely help us cope.
5. Without a season, the NBA can’t shamelessly market itself to 15 year old girls, and that’s a win for everyone!
Yep. That happened. That freaking happened.
I don’t know about you guys, but for me? I couldn’t be more excited for the NBA Lockout! Bring it on!
And let’s hope it ends soon.