Wolves vs. Maccabi Haifa Recap


Seeing that the match of topic was a preseason game against something called Maccabi Haifa, there is only so much constructive analysis to pontificate on.  Half of the fun of attending this game was just being back in Target Center, and everything that goes along with it.  Since there were less fans in attendance tonight than will be gracing the Target Center for a women’s basketball game tomorrow night, it was a no brainer to move down to the 4th row across from the Wolves bench for maximum viewing pleasure.  From these seats I was able to watch the game, but more importantly study a half-living Sid Hartman, longingly gaze at a dapper Ricky Rubio, eagerly stare at the KAHNman himself, watch Tubby Smith get harassed by fans young and old, and spend too much time examining Kevin Williams’ mom’s hairdo, which happens to be the same exact hairstyle that Big Worm rocks in the movie Friday.

Onto the game…

Despite having hairless armpits, it is awesome to have Andrei Kirilenko on our side.  He seems to have a great command on the game, making countless crafty passes with ease, spacing the floor, and generally leading like a professional.  He really seems engaged with the team and already appears to be emerging as a leader of sorts.  KAHNman backed into this one perfectly, despite the AK47 signing actually being Plan V on his offseason options chart.  Even a broken clock is wrong twice a day, and getting AK47 instead of Batum looks like it may end up being a huge blessing in disguise.

Dante Cunningham > Lou Amundson.  Granted, Stonehands Lou only played 5 minutes tonight, but I would rather generalize to prove a point.  Dante is Lou, except younger, more athletic, with better hands, more offensive repertoire, and more upside.  I hope to see Dante playing over Lou this year, and am prepared to make an overly big deal of it should it not turn out to be the case.

Speaking of irrational conclusions, SHVED!  What a STUD.  Euroflair for the win!  I love the way this dude moves, shoots, drives, acts…he’s like the new Marko, but with more athleticism, upside, and scoring prowess.  It still bothers me that he took Your Guy McCants’ number though.

Big Pecker looks like a beast out there this year.  Dude is more cut, more tatted, more confident, and in better shape.  Did I mention that I have Tyrannasorous Pex as a $10 keeper in my Western Conference Only High Stakes Keeper Auction Fantasy Basketball League this year?  Hyped.

Derrick Williams.  I am not going to be negative tonight.  It’s just the preseason.  Adlfkjasfdka;d.  Moving on…

Brandon Roy, Kevin Love, and Lowtop Luke (I can’t believe a select few NBA players still wear low-top sneakers) all looked just fine.  It is the preseason – there is really nothing more to add here.

Oh, I almost forgot this…Chase Budinger just casually threw down a between the legs dunk during warm-ups.  I’ve never seen one of those in warm-ups before, ever.  Much less from a white guy with blonde facial hair.  Do your thing Chase.  Speaking of skin tone, at one point in the 3rd quarter, a guy from Russia was our darkest player out there.  Think about that for a minute.  Unprecedented.

And finally, there was no SILENT ABABU sighting tonight.  I will save my tears, as the mute one is clearly saving his energy and theatrics for the regular season, and I can wait.  This is going to be a fun season, Wolves fans.  Things are looking up.


About wallyworld

Mike has been writing for TWB as a hobby since the Kahn era, and currently resides in a Dallas suburb where he can often be heard loudly arguing with his neighbors about his strong dislike for JJ Barea. When not working, Mike enjoys playing the drums and pretending to like other sports.