After a bruising series of first-round battles, our remaining 32 contestants (plus four party-crashers) took aim at one of the coveted final 16 spots in the Mascot Challenge. What ensued was one of the most entertaining set of posts that this blog has ever seen. After two days of voting and anticipation, the results are finally in! Click “Read More” below to reveal the Sweet 16!
Random Region:
Wolverine – 68%
Freak Piglet – 32%
Japanese Softball Team – 45%
Fat Spiderman – 55%
Joakim Noah’s Dance Moves – 38%
KFC Double Down – 30%
Kool-Aid Man – 32%
Homeless Guy #2 – 29%
Baked Man KG Fan – 71%
Analysis:
– Wolverine and Baked man continue to dominate the competition, each garnering close to 70% of their respective votes.
– Jo Noah’s dance moves ended up on top in our closest triple-threat match. He had only a 6% margin of victory, the narrowest of all our winners in the second round.
TV/Movie Character Region:
Macguyver – 48%
Pinky and the Brain – 15%
Dwight Shrute – 37%
Borat – 45%
Channel 4 News Team – 55%
Stay Puff’t Marshmallow Man – 37%
Bert and Ernie – 63%
Chunk – 66%
Nadia – 44%
Analysis:
– Apparently smokin’ hot looks are no match for the Truffle Shuffle as Chunk managed to upset the trend of lady domination.
– Once again, Macguyver saves the world from evil forces trying to take it over, by downing P&tB and Dwight Shrute in convincing fashion.
– Class outdoes Crass as the Channel 4 News Team, a true sleeper in this competition, heads to the Sweet 16.
Celebrity Region:
Mr. T – 56%
Frodo Baggins – 44%
Taylor Swift – 56%
Lil’ John – 44%
Sean Connery – 43%
Richard Nixon – 27%
Hugh Grant – 30%
Betty White – 31%
Natalie Kane – 69%
Analysis:
– Apparently the Rainbow Coalition invaded the Mascot Challenge voting booths, as the battle between Mr. T and Frodo was waaaaaaaaay closer than it should have been.
– First Kanye, then Lil’ Jon. Mr. T had better watch his back next round, because Taylor Swift has proven to be deadly to men of color.
– Three triple threat invaders, three eliminations. The voters aren’t taking kindly to the contestants who skipped past the first-round.
– Natalie Kane, herself, voted for Betty White. Maybe it was her humility, rather than her looks that persuaded the readers to vote her to the Sweet 16. …Nah!
Athlete Region:
Joe Mauer – 50%
Adrian Peterson – 50%
The ‘Toine – 64%
Oliver Miller – 36%
The Rock – 44%
Malibu – 5%
Macho Man – 51%
Ben Rothlisberger’s Rapist Mullet – 22%
Marko/Adrianna 78%
Analysis:
– Randy Savage, the initiator of our second-round triple threat battles, is the lone invader to advance to the next round.
– Malibue’s 5% is the lowest total we’ve see in the 48 battles thus far. To quote CW: “FAIL!”
– Joe Mauer and Adrian Peterson finished with identical vote totals. What to do? A re-vote? A battle to the death?…
FIRE! THERE IS A FIRE ON THE TWB HOMEPAGE! Ok, now that I have your attention, I would first like to let you know that there is no fire. This was only a test. Secondly, in response to the 50-50 split of the vote between Joe Mauer and Adrian Peterson, I have filed a formal request to invoke Section 10, Rule 13, Paragraph A, Line 3 of the official NBA Draft Lottery Mascot Challenge Rule Book, which clearly states that in the event of a tie, the winner is to be determined by a single vote from a authoritative third party. As self-appointed deputy of the Scranton, PA police department, I will hereby cast the deciding vote…
For myself.
Joe Mauer and Adrian Peterson are now officially disqualified from the tournament. I will now fill the vacated position in the Athlete Region for the Sweet 16 Round. Carry on, everyone. Back to work!
Can’t argue with that logic…
Click the Image below to view a full-sized version of the updated bracket.