Put this team in the witness protection program, it isn't safe for them to be playing basketball. 

  • Love – Dead
  • Rubio – Dead
  • Budinger – Dead (Out a couple months with knee surgery this week, source)
  • Roy – Dead (maybe, really hard to say.)
  • JJ Barea – In stable condition but not out of the woods yet

Ambulance

Ladies and gentlemen we've given Shved 5 games to get aclimated to the NBA, he should be ready to go 38 minutes a game for the next 2 months right? 

 

Which leads us to one of the best pages on the entire internet.

NBA.COM FREE AGENT TRACKER

Sorry Will Conroy we loved your plucky story but it is time to sign an actual NBA guard before we are starting Derrick Williams at the point.

  • Pietrus, Mickael – He has to be the top option. He is european for gosh sakes. Get him in white and blueish and greenish as soon as possible Kahn!
  • Baron Davis – He's still alive right?
  • Gilbert – Same question as with Baron except he might have died (NBA wise) years ago. An interesting person never the less. 
  • Derek Fish…. – Look awy from this bullet, I never typed it. 
  • Delonte West – Mostly insane, but 100% alive!!!!! I'd list him at #2 option

Let me know if you have other bandaide ideas.